I can’t believe this. I was doing so much better. I almost hit the 2 week mark at home. Suddenly, the day I’m due for my infusion, i end up in the ER. Except this time it isn’t my regular hospital. I went in nervous but they couldn’t risk the 30 minute drive to my usual hospital and had to take me to the nearest one. To my surprise, ER was great. But I was suddenly moved to an observation ward and, I swear, this place is the 7th layer of hell. If i were admitted I would get proper care, but here, I get no pain medication and I’m not getting antibiotics for my c. Diff infection. This is a reality that scares me becuase I don’t want it to come back with a vengeance. It’s been a tough 24 hours and I’m just desperate for a break.
When will this end? When will I be able to go outside and enjoy my life? When can I get dressed up and look pretty? When will my life stop being one trip to the hospital after another? I’m exhausted and I feel so terrible for what I’m putting my family through. They’re so incredibly grateful and I have no idea how to lighten their burden. I’m tired and I need a break.